


Lost In Loving Eyes

by starksparkr



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 17:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16644419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksparkr/pseuds/starksparkr
Summary: Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.





	Lost In Loving Eyes

_“It's getting hard to sit here everyday_

_Pretend I'm still the same_

_With all the noise, it never goes away_

_How easy we're replaced_

_I try, I try but I'm slippin', too lost to find what I'm missin'_

_Too paralyzed by the fear of bein' forgotten_

_I try, I try but I'm slippin', too lost to find what I'm missin'_

_Too paralyzed by the fear of bein' forgotten_

_Will I be remembered_

_Or will I be lost in loving eyes?_

_Will I be remembered?_

_I'll hold off eternity if you can promise you'll wait_

_I'll hold off eternity if you can promise you'll wait_

_I'll hold off eternity if you can promise me_

_I feel them move my body from the scene_

_But my heart still beats_

_Lost in the shock of all that's happening_

_Too real to be a dream I try, I try but I'm slippin', too lost to find what I'm missin'_

_Too paralyzed by the fear of bein' forgotten I try,_

_I try but I'm slippin', too lost to find what I'm missin'_

_Too paralyzed by the fear of bein' forgotten_

_Will I be remembered_

_Or will I be lost in loving eyes?_

_Will I be remembered?_

_I'll hold off eternity if you can promise you'll wait_

_If you can promise you'll wait_

_If you can promise you'll wait, if you can promise you'll wait_

_Hold off eternity if you can promise you'll wait_

_If you can promise you'll wait, if you can promise you'll wait_

_Hold off eternity if, if you can promise me, promise me, promise me_

_If, if you can promise me, promise me, promise me_

_If, if you can promise me, promise me, promise me_

_If, if you can promise me.” –_ We Came As Romans, _Promise Me_

* * *

 

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. I’ve lived, and loved, and I’ve lost so much. I didn’t think I could lose anything—or anyone—else. Not May, not Ned, not even Mr. Stark. The thought was always unfathomable; my parents’ plane had been shot down inexplicably, and I’d witnessed my Uncle Ben’s murder. There is only so much loss a person can take.

            I just didn’t think it would happen again so soon.

* * *

 

            It’s been a few months since graduation, and May has been calling me nonstop ever since I started college at MIT. Ned and I have gone our separate ways—he went off to Harvard—but we keep in touch. For the longest time, I was afraid of moving away from Queens, between leaving May alone and my extracurricular activities being Spider-Man—but I’d finally relented and gone to MIT after receiving my acceptance letter.

            “Peter, come on!” Gwen calls to me, laughing as she pulls me by the hand. _Gwen Stacy_. She’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. Smart, funny, kind, and with a spark that ignites into fire. It’s a Friday night, and everyone is rejuvenated with the beginning of summer break. We, along with our group of friends, are planning on going on a road trip around the states, going wherever the road takes us.

            She pulls me close and I back her towards the car, cupping her face between my hands and kissing her deeply. I’m so in love with her. Gwen smiles into the kiss, twining her arms around me.

            “I can’t wait to have you all to myself,” she whispers. I’m about to kiss her again when my phone goes off. Grumbling to myself, I pull my phone out of my pocket. The caller ID says _HAPPY HOGAN._ “What is it?” she asks.

            “Happy?” I ask. “What’s up?”

            “T-there’s been an accident. You need to come back to Queens.”

            “An accident?”

            “It’s Mr. Stark. He was in a car accident; I don’t quite understand what happened, but his car was wrapped around a tree. He was thrown through the windshield, Peter. It’s not looking so good for him.” The line goes dead. I think I’ve stopped breathing.

            “Peter? Peter, what is it? What’s wrong?” Gwen asks, her brown eyes filled with concern.

            “It’s Mr. Stark,” I stammer. “He was in an accident—and it’s bad.”

            “Oh my god, Peter… is—is he alright?” I can only shake my head mutely.

            “I’m sorry—I need to go back home.”

            “Peter—I’m coming with you. You’re not doing this alone.”

            “Gwen, I…I need to do this alone.” The world spins on its axis, and I feel faint. I feel a wave of nausea setting in, and my eyes burn. _Not Mr. Stark. Please, not him. I can’t lose anyone else._

* * *

 

            The hospital room is cold and sterile. Devoid of life, even as Mr. Stark’s comatose form lies on the bed. There is a tube in his mouth, IVs pumping fluids and nutrients into his body. Pepper sits vigil at his bedside, one hand clasping his and another on her swollen belly.

            “Ms. Potts?” I choke. All air has left my lungs. “W-what happened?” I can barely get the words out. Before I realize what’s happening, I am sobbing in her arms.

            “Shh, shh, my sweet boy,” she murmurs, stroking my hair.

            “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it here sooner. I—” I’m rambling, stumbling over my words.

            “Hey, hey, Peter. Shhh, shh. Peter, Peter, look at me. Look at me. It’s okay, you’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

            “What happened?”

            “Tony was on his way to a gala—but the chauffer lost control of the car. He may have been drinking, but he died on impact.”

            “Happy said Mr. Stark was thrown through a window?”

            “Yeah, and he hit the ground head first. The blunt force trauma caused a bleed in his brain which led to a hematoma. They did brain surgery to remove the hematoma and to stop the bleed. But by the time they got to surgery the hematoma had already put a lot of pressure on his brain which was enough to put him in a coma. Now they say the brain swelling needs to go down for any hope of recovery but that it’s not looking good—” I feel as though I’m transported back to the night my Uncle Ben was killed, hovering over his lifeless body just before he was zipped up in a body bag to be taken away to the morgue.  

            I shake my head furiously. None of this is happening. It can’t be. I can’t lose another father. I can’t lose anyone else. It’s not just me who will be losing someone if he doesn’t make it—Pepper will be losing a husband, and their unborn child their father. “So, now what? We… we just wait?”

            “The doctors say we’ll know between 24 and 48 hours,” she says. “He’s going to be okay, he has to be.” She embraces me again, and tears burn anew in my eyes and streak down my cheeks. We spend the night alternating turns at Mr. Stark’s bedside. The nurses, it seems, have given up on convincing Pepper to go home. She needs to know if he’ll be okay. _I_ need to know if he’ll be okay. She talks softly to him as though he is still here with us, but I barely hear her over my own thoughts. I can’t bring myself to call May or Gwen; I don’t want to worry them.

            _Everyone you care for will die,_ a voice inside my head snarls. _This may have been an accident, but it’s just another body to bury. Another person to say goodbye to._

            “Peter,” said Pepper gently. “Peter, you should head back home. You don’t need to stay with me.”

            “Ms. Potts—”

            “It’s okay. I’ll stay with him—either I or Happy will call you if anything changes.” I don’t have it in me to protest, so I nod silently. My throat clogs with tears, and I can’t bring myself to look back as I leave the room.

* * *

 

            I make it home later that night, texting May ahead of time to let her know. I can’t tell her this over text messaging; it’s too much. Even I still can’t believe it. Everything feels surreal—but it’s all too real. A nightmare that I can’t wake up from. When I step through the door, she’s waiting for me, her worry etched upon her face. I haven’t even told her anything, and she knows something is wrong.

            “Peter, what’s going on?” she asks gently. “I thought you were going on that road trip with your friends.” I can only shake my head as the tears I’ve fought the whole way back threaten to spill over.

            “Mr. Stark… he was in an accident, and it… it’s not looking good. The doctors say that his brain is swelling from the trauma, and—”

            “Oh no, _Peter_ …” I turn my eyes from her, trying to hide my burgeoning emotions from her, but she knows better. I don’t fight nor pull away as she pulls me into her arms. I’m unable to fight my sobs as they tear their way out of my chest, and I can feel myself slipping deeper into the darkness.

* * *

 

            I return to the hospital the next evening, with a pit in my stomach. I’ve received a voicemail from Pepper, saying that they’re going to perform a head CT on Mr. Stark to see if any of the swelling in his brain has gone down; they should have the results by the time I arrive. I feel sick to my stomach; every fiber in my being tells me to prepare for the worst. When I make it to Mr. Stark’s room, the doctor is already there.

            “Thank you for coming, Peter,” says Pepper. I nod silently.

            “Mrs. Stark, I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” the doctor begins, “but the swelling in your husband’s brain hasn’t gone down. It’s gotten worse; his brain doesn’t have enough oxygen. It’s been 24 hours, and he still shows no signs of regaining consciousness.”

            “What are you saying?”

            “Mrs. Stark… he signed an advance directive. He requested to be taken off life support if there was no hope of recovery,” he says solemnly. “Right now, these machines are the only things keeping him alive and there has been too much brain damage for Mr. Stark to recover.” I glance over at Pepper; she’s become a deathly shade of pale, and her eyes are wide with shock and disbelief.

            “No. No, no, no, Tony wouldn’t—he wouldn’t do that.” Her face is wet with tears as she shakes her head furiously. “He wouldn’t do that… would he?”

            “I’m sorry, Mrs. Stark, but he did. Seeing as you’re his wife, you’re his next of kin.” I have to sit down. I feel as though I’ve been punched in the gut.

             “Mrs. Stark—” She is sobbing helplessly, and I find myself barely keeping my own emotions in check. “Mrs. Stark, I am so, so sorry…” My face is wet, but I don’t bother trying to wipe my tears. None of this should be happening—but it is. Everything is moving in slow motion.

            “Do you need a moment?” he asks kindly. Pepper shakes her head.

            “Just let us say goodbye first,” she weeps. He nods and steps outside into the hall. I watch as Pepper goes to Mr. Stark’s bedside, stroking his face as she cries. “I love you, Tony. Please… please, don’t go.” She plants a soft kiss on his lips. I rise from the chair and go over to them, blinded by tears. The words are stuck in my throat, and I know that if I start talking, I’ll start crying and I won’t be able to stop. I take his hand in mine and open my mouth to say something—but nothing comes out, save for a sob. Pepper holds me in her arms as I sob; I can’t bring myself to watch this. I can’t watch another person I love die.

            The machines wail for a brief moment before the doctor silences them.

            “Time of death: 8:40pm.”

 

FIN


End file.
